Little Lucy comes back from recess explaining to her teacher how Joey was yanking her shiny luscious brunette locks, and mimicking her femininity, only to be reassured that the boy was just showing his affection and adoration for her. Of course he was. The initiating trap.

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Colors of maroon trace the outline of the woman who has been brutally beaten, forcibly violated, and stripped of every ounce of dignity that was left within her ever so fragile and delicate soul. The penetration haunts her every waking moment. The nightmare is relived at the shutting of her eyelids, never to be pure again. He gets away, fleeing from the problem- the one that was created in his adolescent years, that enabled him to run wild with the behavior. Was the trap to be avoided? Was there something that could’ve been done to prevent this calamitous and invasive Act?

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A socially constructed ideology that gets the privilege of being disregarded and positively reinforced. No repercussions. When will it end? When will the suffering not be justified? When will the“boys will be boys”mentality be dismantled?

 

We should not be forced to live in a world filled with loose boundaries on male behavior, yet we do. Maybe the innocent boys ought not to be blamed. Maybe it’s the system that reinforces the systemic oppression amongst females that should be held accountable- for instilling that women should feel safety in the abuse from their male peers/lovers/abusers, which could transform into something so unbelievably horrific.

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In a world striving for progress and equality, certain obsolete mindsets remain, hindering the growth and potential for individuals to stray away from that patriarchal ideation. An excuse that perpetuates harmful behavior and restricts the development of a just society. Shall I dare say it? Oh, I will. Fuck the patriarchy.

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Musicians often have the power in the expression of disappointment in the teachings of falsely acceptable male-dominated culture. Jax, best known for spilling Victoria’s secret, posted an eye-opening TikTok video remixing the pledge of allegiance: “Boys will be boys” is not an excuse to be violent or verbally abusive. If one teacher says this behavior is acceptable because a boy “has a crush on me” instead of calling his parents, then that teacher should be reported for conditioning young girls to correlate love with abuse. Accountability and justice for all.

 

Maybe if retaught properly, all sexual assault scenarios could be eliminated. Maybe Chanel Miller’s story could’ve never been told. Maybe women wouldn’t feel the need to remain in such toxic relationships. So many maybes, could it have been reality? Feminist sociocultural models of rape adhere to the idea of masculinity being the sole perpetuation of asssault, as how the encouraged dominance and aggression alludes to women

being worthy of victimization. Many researchers have linked components of masculine ideology to self-reports of past sexual aggression or the likelihood to rape in the future. Cúchulainn, a legend of medieval Irish descent, is the core representation of heroism through toxic masculinity by means of arrogance, deception, and entitlement. A folklore that has resonated with male youth, that has further implemented the idea of how there needs to be an association between masculinity and violence, and how anything deemed as less represents inferiority… less than that of true masculine qualities.

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Clementine Ford, a renown contemporary feminist, is known for deconstructing the idea that feminism is detrimental to men, in using the biased innate notions to automatically blame them for uncontrollable conduct. Instead, the patriarchal society is just as harmful for men as it is for women. This all relates back to the failing system. Toxic masculinity is shaped from the emergence out of the womb- actually at the moment of the

gender reveal, to essentially what is shadowed in the core moments of childhood. Children are like sponges, that soak in every detail of their older peers. What is seen and believed can only be reiterated until it becomes an approved notion that establishes societal and gender norms. A 2019 article, published by Schiller, delves into the underlying issue of how the “boys will be boys” mantra limits all genders, alluding to shift needed in the raising of young males. Striving to promote equality cannot rest on females alone, yet it's time to shut down the resulting misogyny. There needs to be a direct understanding of the chauvinist holes that male youth fall down into, the emotional trauma and socially constructed behaviors that have been shaped by generations past, as well as the limitations in adherence to gender roles in the development of becoming men.

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There needs to be a societal movement in promoting a more healthy approach to defining the realms of masculinity. Many discoveries reveal that boys absorb and internalize the norms as early as the age of 4, which then shifts in a negative direction into the adolescent years. The “Man Box '' is a societal restraint on how men are expected to think and behave, which the more restraints there are, the more likely they are to commit such violent acts and developmental disparities. As of January 2019, the APA developed guidelines to help psychologists work with men and boys. It’s gotten to the point where mental instability has increased significantly among the demographic, being that “something is amiss” for them. They commit approximately 90% of homicides in the US and represent 77% of victims. It’s not the sole issue here, yet what this

postulates is how detrimental the effects of enduring these restraints are on males. Manhood is considered the problem- hi, I'm the problem, it's me. Traditional masculinity as the APA guidelines establish is marked by stoicism, competitiveness, and dominance. The only emotion allowed to be expressed is pure and unsettling anger. More than 80% of boys report that they’ve heard the phrase “you’re acting like a girl,” while 72% feel as though they’re pressured to have physical and emotional strength coinciding with the norm that disenables men to relish in their true state of emotion. It’s like they’re programmed to abide by these absurd and out-dated Guidelines.

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What needs to be done: the expansion of notions and teachings implementing the evolving nature of what and how it should be like becoming a man. This should be preached in the early stages of education, enabling a safe environment for young males to gain a deeper understanding of equality, the expression of emotions, and overall dismantling the idea of male superiority in correspondence with diminishing rape culture. It needs to be introduced to the younger generations to promote an enhanced and abidable understanding, as time progresses. It’s all in the jeans. A mother of two boys and the sole proprietor of Quirkie Kids developed the

brand with intentions of generating an inclusive society, as how the clothing being sold is gender-neutral. The company initiated the #stillaboy campaign to highlight the ways in which young boys can do and wear things that are traditionally viewed as feminine.

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Educating young males and teens to see how their actions affect others is pivotal in initiating the end to rape culture. There are countless ways of going about redefining masculinity. Now, I’m not saying you necessarily have to go about it in a way of altering the system to instead raise a feminist son, yet the ultimate goal is to instill a sense of empathy and sensibility in mankind. It all starts with shaping the environment and ensuring that they have the ability to be whoever they want to be.

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The 1991 retreat in a Toronto high school consisted of a group of male and female peers and their teachers, whom worked on issues of sexism and change in masculinity, Overall, what institutions should implement: setting boundaries and establishing what consent is, not policing the culture of students as how families of certain ethnicities hold heightened views on masculinity, validating males and enabling them to freely-express themselves, and holding those who have committed harmful actions accountable.

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One may ask what sort of entailments and limitations there are through a new pedagogy of masculinity? The only limitations consist of those unwilling to cooperate, powered by ignorance. Upon dismantling the the “boys will be boys” paradigm, a new mindset will take place and so will change- change for a better future, better protection of females, and the deconstruction of such a stigmatic view of masculinity, or actually what would be seen as less than that in the older generations. Let’s end the idea of violating another’s bodily autonomy, and let's effectively transform the values and ideologies males hold.

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Little Lucy comes back from recess explaining to her teacher how Joey was yanking her shiny luscious brunette locks, and mimicking her femininity, which ended with a subsequent disciplining. There we go. That’s how it should be. The trap was nonexistent.

 

And we fortunately didn’t have to reimagine the next scene. The issue was eliminated, and we’re now living in a world where dominance and aggression aren’t the inhumane and conditioned motives of males. Wouldn’t that be nice?

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Boys can be boys, but it’s left to the environment and educational system to shape that idea and them into adulthood. It’s time to change the narrative progression and to redefine masculinity.